Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
