I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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