whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
