Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
