You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
