I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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