Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..

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(347): View more from New York

Leave Me Alone

(573): View more from Missouri

At least least me cry on your voice mail

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(540): View more from Virginia

That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....

(1-540): View more from Virginia

It was the best sex i've ever had.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.

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(917): View more from New York City

when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.

(917): View more from New York City

Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.

(347): View more from New York

he is a god among men.

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(253): View more from Washington

Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.

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(706): View more from Georgia

She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween

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(218): View more from Minnesota

So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.

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