VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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