I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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