we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
