We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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