i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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