She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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