Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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