I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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