I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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