I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
