I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize