Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I think I just sharted jello shots
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