shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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