You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
