I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
