So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
