That's when you crack a 10am beer
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
