Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
