I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
