she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
