There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You just made me feel so damn special
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
