If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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