quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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