i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
