great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize