About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize