if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
