Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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