He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
