he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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