also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
