Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
