I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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