I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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