I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
