I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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