dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize