I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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