you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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