My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
