I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
