And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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