I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
