At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
