:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
do herpes really smell.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
