Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
