I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
third nipple confirmed
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
