I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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