so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
