I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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