im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think weed is turning my hair brown
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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