glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
